Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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