Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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