Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is it penis luge time yet?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
