So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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