totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
