we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
