Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am naked and annoyed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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