Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
