i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
