he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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