Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
