glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
either way he was missing a nipple.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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