I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
