I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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