she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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