all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i was in the wii world.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
areolas are like halos for boobs.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
