I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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