i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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