in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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