she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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