I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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