You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
