You can't special order awesome
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
