I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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