Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
