all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
