Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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