is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
