My brain says no but my pants say off.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
