girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
