I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
