she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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