I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
