So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just tell him i said nine months
I understand Curling. That high.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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