I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
