"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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