I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
