how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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