We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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