ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
