I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
