Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
