Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
