I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
