The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
