May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
