oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
now i know why i became what i already was.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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