i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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