He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
