My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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