but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He felt like a one man threesome
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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