He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
