dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
