he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
