Your tits are I can't wait for
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
